I had my ultrasound on Monday which was so incredibly stressful.  Not only was I worried about them telling me the baby might have downs syndrome but because of the bleeding I was worried they might tell me something was wrong with the placenta.  The ultrasound went great !  Jackie (who did all my ultrasounds after Alex was diagnosed with CDH) knew all the right things to say to put us at ease.  She told us straight away that the baby had a perfect nuchal translucency measurement and baby's heart looked good so far and best of all she pointed out that this baby's stomach was in his/her abdomen and heart is up where it should be and she can see the diaphragm.  Although its still early to completely rule out CDH she doesnt think this baby has it.  She also couldnt see where my bleeding was coming from.  The placenta looked good and there were no clots that she could see.  I am booked in for another scan at 16 weeks so that she can have a better look but so far so good.  My risk factor for downs syndrome was 1 in over 1000 (I think it was 1900 but will need to ask my obstetrician next week as I was too busy crying to hear the exact number) so I also dont need to have an amnio as this baby is considered low risk for downs.  I was at work when I got this news and was crying so much that my boss thought something was wrong with the baby.  He hugged me when I told him the good news. 

Ive allowed myself to be a little happier this week and excited about this pregnancy.  I know its still very early days and that I still have some scary scans up ahead but I'm taking every bit of positive news I can for now.  We have told quite alot of people now although I didnt really have much choice in that because when they see me they can already guess because of my growing stomach.  We also rang JP's parents in South Africa to tell them because it seemed unfair that we were telling friends before family.  They suspected something was up anyway because JP has been extremely stressed lately with all that's been happening and they know their son well and guessed that I might be pregnant.

Grey's Anatomy showed that episode last week on the baby with CDH.  I was so disappointed.  It showed a whole two minutes of the woman with the CDH baby and how they were going to treat it with in-utero surgery.  I know its just a show but its no wonder so few people know about CDH.  It just doesnt get the mention that other birth defects get.  In-utero surgery for CDH is very rarely performed and in Australia I dont think they perform it all because it isnt believed to increase survival rates and it's still considered very experimental.  There has been alot of publicity lately in our magazines and newspapers about in-utero surgery to fix heart defects but in Australia CDH doesnt seem to get the same research.  It really sucks. I know I keep going on about this but it really does bother me. 

I want to congratulate my friend (I won't mention names here) on her great news that she is pregnant !  She has been trying for more than 14 months and by coincindence sees the same doctors I see (my IVF doctor and Ob).  She works with JP and although I met her a few years ago its only really been since Alex died that we have become really close.  She has helped me through some hard times and helped me try to stay positive (which is no easy task I can tell you !) and in return I have been helping her through the struggles of infertility.  Although she hadnt reached the IVF path yet she was doing IUI like I did (I did 3 cycles unsuccessfully before commencing IVF).  On her second attempt she was successful and I am so happy for her.  I wish her a very happy and healthy nine months.  To help us through the last few months we kept telling each other that we would be pushing our prams together at the local shopping centre before we knew it and it seems that our dreams may come true.  She is 5 weeks pregnant so provided both babies are born healthy they will only be 2 months apart. 

October is such a busy month for us.  We have so many birthdays that I am starting to lose count.  Yesterday was a friends birthday although I couldnt go see her because we went out to dinner for my brother-in-law's birthday (which is on Tuesday but celebrated last night).  On Friday is my nephew (and godson) 1st birthday.  We have ordered him a 4 foot Elmo air-walker balloon to be delivered on his birthday.  I hope it doesnt scare him !!  JP has gone out now to buy him a gift and I have stayed home because walking doesnt seem to be too good for me right now.  We also have both my in-laws birthdays at the end of October. Its such a crazy month !  November is a little quieter although its my mom's 60th at the end of November and to surprise her my sister and I paying for flights for her brother and sister to fly from Italy.  We are throwing her a party too.  We didnt know what to buy her and because she does so much for us we know thats probably the best gift we can give her to thank her for everything she has done for us.  I really dont know what I would have done if I didnt have her through all those days and nights at the hospital with Alex.  She slept in a chair with me on the nights when he wasnt expected to make it.  She reminded me to eat when I could hardly remember what time of day it was and she spent as many hours by Alex's bedside as I did.  If there was some way I could repay her with all that I would but I guess I can try and be the best mom to my children one day and she would be happy with that.  I know it would mean so much to her to have her brother and sister here on her birthday and they are just as excited about coming.  Hopefully no-one ruins to surprise by telling her before the big day.  

Thanks Lauren for letting me know about the annual CDH get together in Brisbane.  I mentioned it to JP and he said we could go but now I cant really fly (because of my recent scare) so it seems out of the question for this year.  Brisbane is about 2 hours away by aeroplane as I live in Melbourne but I would still love the information as maybe we could go next year.  Its so great that there is an annual get together in Australia !  I have been reading about the one you went to in Ohio and wished that there was something similar I could attend here in Australia.  As Ive mentioned I really dont know any other families in Australia that have dealt with CDH.  It would be great to meet other families touched by this birth defect.  I would love it if the woman organising it could send me some details.  Thanks Lauren for thinking of me.  

Anyway I have to go now as I am still in my PJ's and its 1pm !

Bye for now !

Jenny